I have a super power: I am THE RUMINATOR!!! If you need to have a visual of someone who ruminates, I’m it.
Here’s the definition of “ruminate” according to Merriam-Webster:
transitive verb
1 : to go over in the mind repeatedly and often casually or slowly
2 : to chew repeatedly for an extended period
When I read “to chew repeatedly for an extended period,” that made me laugh aloud. I thought, “Yes, that’s me. Chew, chew and chew some more!”
I have had a hell of a time (pardon my French) moving forward with my business. I get pumped up to get going, and then something triggers my “oh boy, I better think about this.” And then I think and think and think some more and get absolutely nothing done. Then I feel so damn bad about not getting anything done, I beat myself up emotionally and am paralyzed.
Recently, a loved one said me, “Stop overthinking and follow your gut.” Well, after ruminating on that, I decided, okay, taking action, in whatever form is better than wasting time overthinking it like I have for the past year. (I’m not kidding, I have probably spent well over 52 hours ruminating on what I should do with SheTaxi/She@Midlife.)
I do a wonderful job of admiring other businesswomen and celebrating their successes. I also do a wonderful job supporting and guiding start-up businesses and nonprofits and moving them to the next level. I also am a high-achieving employee; however, when it comes to my business, thoughts of doubt and fear start creeping in. I used to try to think of SheTaxi as someone else’s business to remove my head trash, but it always seeped back in.
As I give it my damnedest to move forward, I am going to do my best to stay in touch with my gut and do what feels right. Writing has not come easily to me this past year and I do enjoy podcasting, so I’m headed more in that direction.
I am committed to have a place where women can remove their “game faces,” focus on accepting themselves and begin to take better care of themselves. I care about that—I really do! I want to feel better, and I want other women to feel better, too.
As I have spent the last eight years cycling backwards on my well-being journey, the time has come for me to step up, move forward and let the past be in the past. Also, as someone who has learned how to take better care of herself and knows how hard it can be to maintain a healthier lifestyle (mind, body and spirit), you can count on me to “keep it real” and acknowledge, “sh*t happens.”
SheTaxi (yep, the company name is SheTaxi. She@Midlife is out the door) is for all women who have a desire to feel and live better. My hope is that younger women can learn from me and my journey. I also hope that women around my age will look to SheTaxi as a curator of awesome information dedicated to focusing on your inner self, and being a community where women can “just be.”
So, as I officially hit a major milestone birthday, I am taking the leap and going for it. And, whatever will be, will be. I’m sure I’ll start beating myself up right after I post this blog about how it could be better written, or whatever… Instead, I just need to focus on what matters, me being me, as an ongoing “work in progress.”
You’ll start seeing changes on the website and via Facebook transitioning back to SheTaxi. I’ll have my updated logo soon. (If you happen to know me, you can image how “out of sorts” I am posting this blog without the new logo being in place…it’s killing me! Wait, stop – no more ruminating!)
So, in the meantime, I am focusing on adopting a new superpower and leaving “THE RUMINATOR” in the past.
Tags: feelbetter happy headtrash healthy impostersyndrome innerself livebetter selfcare wellbeing women
