A Perfectionless Life Suits You Better
Over the holiday, I got the chance to spend some time with a girlfriend who lives out of state. We both have small kids and careers, so we don’t get the chance to connect on a regular basis. Our kids were playing, the husbands were doing their own thing, and Kim and I had just settled in with a bit of Champagne, ready to catch up.
Kim looked at me and said, “I appreciate that you are just you.” What? She added that I’m not high maintenance—we can go months without talking and I don’t get upset about it. That’s cool, but there are things I feel require a bit of attention….like going to the gym (5 days a week unless I’m on my deathbed), and I’m pretty picking about the food I bring into my house for my family (yep, that’s me taking 5 minutes to compare peanut butter labels). In the complete opposite direction, I don’t care to give much attention to things like fashion (I’m known for wearing scrubs and clothes from thrift stores, and only buying a new purse when the one I have is falling apart). I know there are times where it would be to my benefit to give my appearance more effort, but it doesn’t bother me.
I mention these to Kim, and she says “I know, but that’s what I like….that you are a bit neurotic about certain things, and other stuff you don’t care. You don’t mind being who you are.” Wow, Kim, you really opened my eyes. I never looked at it from that perspective. I have spent all of my twenties and most of my thirties trying to be perfect. The perfect massage therapist, yoga instructor, the perfect girlfriend, wife and mother. Only in the last few years have I found that it sucks! It’s too much effort, and I never felt like I got to my goal. I kind of exhausted myself into being comfortable in my own skin.
What I’m hoping for all of you reading this is that you don’t have to wrestle with the pursuit of perfection as I did. Learn from me…try just being you. The good and the bad. In the morning, instead of striving for a perfect day, aim to make the best of your day. This is the truth—cross my fingers, hope to die. I just had to take a break from reading this because my 3-year-old didn’t tell me she had to go potty. Instead I find her making poop-tracks around her carpeted bedroom. Of course I want her to be potty-trained yesterday. But it’ll be funny in a few more days and a great story to tell future boyfriends. I’m trying to not take it personally.
Now about you. Take a few moments to think about who you are, and don’t judge what’s good and bad. Work at just being you, and you may be surprised how much others may like you for it. Better yet, YOU’LL like yourself better!
About the Author
Michele Gorny is a mother, wife, business owner and fitness specialist and nutrition adviser. Michele practices a holistic approach to well-being and is dedicated to helping people discover how healthy one can be when connected in mind, body and spirit.