For months I longed for nothing but social interaction. I felt trapped in my house and just wanted to be back out in the world. Now, most parts of my life are back to “normal”. Don’t get me wrong, I am excited and so grateful that we are where we are and it seems that the pandemic is slowing, but diving right back into life has me feeling a little bit anxious and overwhelmed.
Everything was so uncertain for so long. Even though it wasn’t always pleasant I got used to being home all of the time and wearing masks when I occasionally left the house. I felt safe and like I had control. To me, it feels like everything has ended just as quickly as it started, and I can’t help but feel just a little uneasy from time to time. I felt completely naked the first time I walked into a store without a mask on.
More than anything, I am feeling exhausted. Life was slow and quiet for longer than it ever had been for me. A major silver lining of the shut down was being able to take a step back and rest like I never have before. These days everything is back to business. I feel like I have been going non-stop for weeks and I am starting to feel run down. Life must go on, but there has to be a balance between nothing and everything. I am still learning what that looks like.
I think it’s easy to fall into the cycle of wanting what you don’t have. When life is busy, I crave peace. When life is slow, I crave activity. There has been a lot to learn from what we all have experienced over the last year and a half. My hope is that we can all learn to slow down a little bit in life and be grateful for what we have in the moment.