The Conscious Yet Unspoken Reality Behind My Drinking

The Conscious Yet Unspoken Reality Behind My Drinking

Cocktail, anyone? Yes, please. In fact, since you’re here, make it a double. 

I love to drink. I love the taste of the rum and coke (my favorite) in my mouth and the slight burn on the back of my throat with my first sip. Then I love the feeling of warmth my body experiences from the second sip, and by the third sip, it feels like bliss. Rum and coke have been good friends of mine for a while.

You can always count on me to be willing to go to happy hour. If we’re having a rough day at work, I’m usually the one that has the idea to sneak out a little bit early so we can grab a drink before catching the bus home. While most of my co-workers go home to husbands, wives and kids, I go home to an empty condo. My guess is that their drinking for the evening has ended, while I continue to sip until David Letterman comes and then go to bed. 

I can usually spot a drinking buddy a mile away. I think they can spot that in me as well. It’s easy for me to have friends that I only socialize with over cocktails. I don’t have as many as I used to; I am now trying to find better quality friendships. But I can always tell when I meet someone and one of us suggests, “Let’s go for a drink” rather than meeting for coffee, we may have the same buddies: rum and coke. 

Do I worry about my drinking? Absolutely. Am I currently doing anything to change it? Not really. I am aware of alcoholism, as I have several family members who have been in/out of treatment and some surviving soberly. According to textbooks, I probably am an alcoholic. I like to think that I have my limits; for example, I don’t drink and drive. I don’t drink and socialize with strangers when traveling for work, and I never drink during the day (unless it’s a mimosa at brunch with friends).

When I leave the liquor store and see other women carrying out their bottles, I always wonder if they are like me. Are they going home to sip a glass of wine with their husband, or are they going home to sip the bottle of wine alone? How many of us are out there? The routine does feel lonely, but I’m not ready to change it. If I do, I’ll be back to tell you about it.  

About the Author

Anonymous Blogger: This blog was originally posted on in 2011. This blog was submitted by Des Driver, SheTaxi’s anonymous blogger. If you have an anonymous blog that you would like to share, please…


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