At SheTaxi, we focus on the inner-self. When you feel good, you live better! What you can count on me for is providing information, inspiration and connection for you to improve your well-being. You can’t count on me for any fashion tips, talking about the hottest makeup trends or how to look 10 years younger. That’s not in my wheelhouse.
I think there is so much emphasis on “the superficial” (perfect body, big house, latest designer fashion, “being mommy of the year”, etc.). As someone who used to focus on the external, I am thankful that I had an epiphany (i.e. cancer) that knocked me off my feet and made me question “what the hell am I doing with my life?!”
I spent so many years masking my inner-self by building an army of barriers to make it look like everything was great. Well, “everything” wasn’t great. I wasn’t living according to my values. In fact, I didn’t even know what my values were. I had many unhealthy relationships and did not know the first thing about how to take care of myself (mind, body and spirit). I wanted to live life differently and began to do some research. I studied. I tried new things. I made small changes. I succeeded. I failed. I started over. I did well. I fell flat. And now, I am picking myself up again.
I am passionate about ‘being real and authentic’ – yet that has been one of my biggest barriers with SheTaxi. When I first started the business, I had a team of 20 AWESOME writers who supported my vision for the business. It was all about being real, talking about topics that didn’t get a lot of attention and raising each other up. We were a fresh resource for women, and we had traction! And then I decided to step away from the business.
“My story” as to why I left the business was because I needed to support myself financially. It was either get investors (which during the midst of a recession is not a great time to be raising capital) or go back to work. I decided to go back to work and felt like a complete failure. My energy was drained and I felt a “low” that lasted for many years.
Recently, I reconnected with one of my mentors and she “called me on the carpet” and said, “Let’s face it, you walked away from a thriving start-up.” When she said that, I felt like I had been slapped in the face. What??! No, that’s not what I did. Well, it’s exactly what I did and she wanted to know “why”, and she “wasn’t buying the – I needed to financially support myself..”. (Rut row!)
If you read my prior blog, you know that I am a wonderful ruminator. I can think, think and think some more about things. Well, I thought about her question and finally faced the reality that fear is why I left the business. Even though I was getting more comfortable “just being me”, it also terrified me. I was raised to always have the “game face” on and not to draw attention to myself – this philosophy was heavily engrained in my psyche.
Well, the main reason I started SheTaxi was because I was sooooo tired of wearing my “game face.” I was sick of it. I was angry and wanted to have a space where women can be real with each other, without judgment. How ironic that I was the biggest judger of all.
Even as I write this, I get butterflies in my stomach because it feels like “Oh, should I be sharing this?” Well, what I have learned (and not always taken action on) is that when I feel the uneasiness, then that is exactly what I should be doing. Whew – I said it! Eeks!
As we start the new year, this is my commitment to the SheTaxi community. I am committed to being a resource that focuses on the inner-self. I will provide information and tools that support SheTaxi’’s values of:
Caring for your mind,
Caring for your body,
Caring for your spirit, and
Being real and authentic.
I am going to tap into my many years of life (and therapy) to share the lessons I’ve learned, in hopes that you can pull nuggets of information that resonate with you. I will also have contributors, who support SheTaxi’s values, that will also serve as resources and provide tools to improve your well-being. Let’s face it: When we feel good, we live better.
Let’s do this! (Stomach butterflies galore happening at this moment…) Happy New Year!